Words

You know that saying "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" ? As kids we used to hear that all the time as encouragement to not take mean words to heart. An effort to reduce negative reactions to bullying and kids being kids. But I never figured out how to not let words hurt me. Instead I would just turn off the sad emotion altogether. Eventually I found Yoga and that helped me learn to let go of hurtful words. But if you say something meaningful or hurtful to me, I will probably never forget how it made me feel.

This year Linh introduced to me the theory of 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.In short, there are 5 ways people express and receive love: Physical Touch, Word of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Gifts, and Quality Time. Everyone places value on each way differently. For instance you might really value when someone does something for you. Another person might get more happiness from receiving a gift rather than if you did something for them. So in learning about this theory and trying to get to know myself and what I value, I've realized that I place a lot of value on what people say to me. If someone tells me I did something wrong, then I will feel horrible. My friend Gen always says she wants to see me and I feel really warm and fuzzy when she says so. However I'm pretty bad at expressing words of affirmation back to people. Chapman says that people don't always give love the same way they want to receive love and that is true for me. I would rather cook them dinner or help them with something.

I've tried to pay attention to how others give and receive love. Gen likes to give love through words, Sheree doesn't place much value on hugs or touch, Arch hates gifts and would rather you hang out with him. I think that knowing yourself is key to being able to live and work with others. Everyone is unique and knowing how to take care of yourself will ensure your own happiness. Here's to the search for happiness.

Escape to Lake Genevieve and Mount Baldwin

Escape! Sometimes you just need to get away, change your environment, do something new in order to move forward. What I'm finding out is that in California, a weekend trip can be like a mini vacation. Last Saturday morning Brandon, Eric, and I jumped in the car at 5am and drove up to the Inyo National Park, strapped our packs on and were hiking by 11am.

The route was a 6 mile hike into Lake Genevieve with 2000ft of elevation gain. This hike was hard. We started at 8000ft and ended up just around 10,000ft. I definitely felt the thinner air and with the extra weight on my back the last mile was tough. But the sights and sounds were gorgeous and peaceful. There was snow on the ground and the sun to warm you up. We got to Lake Genevieve as the sun was setting at about 530pm, set up camp and devoured a whole box of couscous with Indian Fares. I was exhausted, but managed to stay awake another hour while we set up our tent and cleaned up from dinner. The boys had the great idea of heating up water and filling our water bottles. My metal canteen was so nice and toasty in the 20 degree weather. For warmth the three of us crammed into a two person tent and I passed out pretty soon after.

Lake Genevieve

We all had an intermittently restful night sleeping shoulder to shoulder haha, but it wasn't the worst sleep I'd ever had in a tent. We rose with the sunrise and were out of camp by 715am, back out to lake Mildred by 830am and goofed around the lake. Brandon and Eric filled up our water bottles and then we stashed our backpacks by a camping spot so we could hike up Mount Baldwin.

The Sierras and Lake Mildred

I thought Saturday was long, but hiking Baldwin was worse. We probably got started around 10am, walked a quarter mile to the trail head and started our ~3000ft climb. This mountain was STEEP. I think we only covered 7-8 miles round trip, but it took us 5 hours to get to the top and 3 hours to come down because a lot of the trail was either covered in snow or covered in rocks. Eric and Brandon calmly bowled through everything, stamping down snow and scrambling up and down rocks to figure out where to go. We got lost a few times and had to back track, and at one point we were pretty much rock climbing.If I had been by myself I'd probably be dead, so I'm grateful they were there but it was a crazy experience for me. Part of me was like "oh ok, I'll follow" and another part of me was like "um...you're gonna die". I think I was too exhausted to really take in what I just did because that was pretty crazy. Brandon was pretty excited that we stomped all over that stupid mountain, but I think all I wanted to do was be in a place where I wouldn't have to hike anymore.

@ the top of Mt Baldwin

No dice. Once we made it back to our backpacks at 530pm, we had only eaten bars all day and had to hike the rest of the 5 miles out to Brandon's Suby. So yes, we hiked in the dark. Headlamps on, we got started just as the sun went down and the moon came out. Luckily it was all downhill, I slipped on a tree crossing the stream and then tripped on a rock, but we got to the car by 8pm. I think we were all exhausted and in pain by the time we got to the car. Eric and I ripped off the shoes and wanted to tear into the food, but Brandon rushed us into the car to try and catch dinner in Bishop before the restaurants all closed at 9pm. I think we crossed the town about 5 times before we found a place that was open, the Holy Smoke Texas Style BBQ. It was like home away from home. The staff and owner were so friendly I was reminded of what it's like to be in the south. The food was pretty good too, but no Rudy's BBQ. The next day I chilled while the boys bouldered around Bishop, then we had a delicious dinner at Whiskey Creek and drove home. All in all a hard but great weekend.

Love Stories

The easiest way to get people talking is to figure out what they care about. If they are married or have a family, then you hit the jackpot because parents or spouses who are really happy will not shut up about their loves. Hearing a couple's love story is always fun, inspiring, and makes me happy. Genuine love will always baffle and surprise me.

Lately I've been thinking about a conversation I had with my boss at UCLA. We were the only two people on a phone conference waiting for everyone else to join and he was working from home. His son made a babbling nosie and our conversation went kinda like this:

Me, "What's your sons name?"
"Ethan. Don't mind him, he's trying to eat the phone."
"And you're going to let him?!"
"Hahaha, no!"
(It was a Saturday. Yes. We had to work on Saturday)
"Is your wife home with you guys?"
"No, she's out. It's just us boys."
"How did you meet your wife?" I asked because meeting stories are just as good as falling in love stories.
"We met in high school. We've known each other for over 10 years."
"Oh! Wow thats a long time to be together."
"Actually we didn't get together until about three years ago."
      Whoa! These situtations are always so interesting to me because how do you suddenly change your mind and decide that you want to marry someone you've friend zoned for so long?
I asked, "So how did you know you should get married? Sorry if I'm prying."
He said, "Oh no you're not. I'm actually a pretty open person."
Then he paused a minute and told me,

"We accepted each other for who we were."