Gratitude

Thursday class at Heal One World was small. Only two of my regulars showed up. Actually I think it has been dwindling over the past month. I try not to think about the numbers because you never know whats going on in another persons life, so you can't expect people to always show up at your class. Taking it personally is kind of silly because it never has anything to do with you, but nevertheless you still feel a little sad that you don't get to see someone that week.

Anyway I put together a slow class and since there were only two I tried to really watch them and adjust or correct their movements. At the end of class I thanked them for coming and got to talking with Norma, a small hispanic woman who takes care of 3 boys and her hubby. She was telling me that the teacher on Fridays is crazy hard and that she'll run away if she sees her again. Haha. Norma started coming to my class (and I think one class a day) a few months ago because her doctor recommended it. At the end of class today she expressed all her changes and gratitude. She has no more back pain. She used to have to visit the doctor frequently for one thing or the other, but she doesn't have to go anymore. The most interesting thing she said was she doesn't get angry easily anymore. She's calmer and happier and feels better every day.

So that made me feel like if there were only one person in class every week, then it would still be worth it.

On Motivation

Do you ever go on a trip and when you get back you feel changed? Your perspective has widened or your ideas have turned a different direction. I took a week and drove up the PCH, hiked the Pine Ridge Trail, saw wild cormorants, and breathed the fresh Bay air. Somehow, someone, something along the trip gave me the motivation I have now to finish my medical school applications and work on the list of things I've been wanting to do. Before the trip, June for me was quite stagnant. I would stare at my personal essay and not write a word. I would wake up at 10am and read fiction until dinner time. I watched 2 seasons of Game of Thrones. Only small things in my life changed like getting a new crank set for Frankenstein or finally replacing the passport that I lost. I was bored, and I didn't know how to get out of the funk. 

Luckily Dan stopped by LA and he let me hop into his TDI Volkswagon for a spontaneous trip up the PCH. Funk discarded and self-reflection commenced. Four days on the road listening to metal will definitely hone your skills for tuning things out and spending time looking inward. Just kidding. I only did that 80% of the time. Anyway there was plenty of quiet time and talks about who we are and what we think that I started to unravel some parts of my life I previously tabled. Like religion. 

In San Jose I hung out with my Aunt for a whole day. Man is she a talker. But she definitely changed my perspective about who she is and what she’s doing with her life. She quit her job and went back to school because she wants a better life for herself. Proof that it’s never too late to change.

The whole week was about family and friends. There was plenty of time for long talks and just hanging out. I guess I don’t really get that in LA. But it’s funny how I feel that this trip changed me more than the last one to Havasu. Maybe it was the timing in my life or having more chill time to think or do nothing. Either way I'm different, and I've found some motivation. Thanks friends and family. 
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En español - gracias a Gen por su ayuda. =)
Alguna vez cuándo hayas vuelto de una vacación,  ¿sentiste cambiado? ¿Que tu perspectiva esté ampliada o tus ideas hayan girado hacia una dirección diferente? Tomé una semana para subir la costa pacífica por autopista. Durante el camino subí por Pine Ridge, vi cormoranes salvajes, y respiré el aire fresco del área de la bahía. De alguna manera, alguien, o algo del viaje me dio la motivación para terminar mis solicitudes para la Universidad Médica y para trabajar en la lista de cosas que quería hacer. Antes del viaje, el mes de junio fue un mes muy inactivo. Miraba fijamente a la redacción personal que tenía que escribir, y no escribía nada. Me despertaba a las diez de la mañana y leía ficción hasta la hora de la cena.  Miré dos temporadas de Game of Thrones. Pocas cosas en mi vida habían cambiado, por ejemplo compré bielas nuevas para Frankenstein o finalmente solicité el pasaporte que había perdido. Estaba aburrida y no sabía salir de la mala racha.  

Por suerte Dan pasó por Los Ángeles y me dejó ir consigo en el auto por el PCH. Durante cuatro días nosotros manejábamos por la costa. Tuve tiempo de pensar y reflejar sobre mi vida. Hablabamos sobre quiénes éramos y sobre como pensábamos. Empecé a desenredar partes de mi vida que había archivado. La religión, por ejemplo.

En San José pasé tiempo con mi tía Anna. ¡Ella hablaba mucho! Pero cambió mi punto de vista sobre quien era ella y qué está haciendo con su vida. Dejó su trabajo para volver a la escuela porque quería mejorar su vida. Una prueba que nunca es demasiado tarde para cambiar.

El resto de la semana estuve con familia y amigos. Tenía mucho tiempo para tener conversaciones largas y para pasar los ratos. Es interesante el sentir que esta vacación me cambió más que el último viaje que hice. Quizás fue el ritmo de mi vida o que estuve utilizando  mi tiempo para pensar o hacer nada. De cualquier manera soy diferente y he encontrado la motivación. Doy las gracias a mi familia y a mis amigos.   

My Relationship with Cycling

Needless to say for those of you that know me I have a lot of free time on my hands right now. In the past I would have spent all day working on getting stronger by going for a run, doing yoga, riding my bike, going to the gym, etc. But as of late I'm finding it hard to motivate myself to do those things with the intent to get stronger. A few weeks ago I rode 60 miles and I was really beat by the end. Last weekend I didn't even take my Pinarello down off the rack. In Houston I had the MS150. I had a whole host of friends who wanted to ride. I knew the regulars on the bike shop rides. Here I don't have that. I don't think I'm sad about it because there a lot of other things I'm working on that fill my time. I guess I just wanted to acknowledge it. I have changed. My goals have changed. My life has changed. I am different and cycling has taken a backseat to other things. Don't get me wrong I still love it. I will always love it, but I just think it's interesting how it has evolved.

I have a friend who is just getting into cycling and it reminds me of myself 4 years ago. Keen eyed, ready to devour all the details about bikes, envious of expensive components and lighter frames. But now none of that really matters to me. I'm considering fixing up my steel frame to be able to ride longer distances. I told him that I haven't ridden with a computer in over 2 years and he was shocked. I explained to him that the numbers stopped mattering to me. It doesn't matter how fast I'm going or how far I ride because every ride is different. It only matters now that I keep up, stay with my friends and enjoy myself. I will always love riding so the number of miles willl just keep piling on whether I count them or not. My speed and strength will ebb and flow with my lifestyle but I will always love riding. Nothing else matters. So I stopped thinking about the numbers.

And yes I think of it as a relationship with cycling or with my bike. I usually think of my bike as a person. They are a part of the trip, experience, ride. I think I mentioned that my steel bike is named Frankenstein. And I just picked a name for my Pinarello, Amico. Who knows maybe when I get all my ducks in a row I'll pick some new crazy ride to do and start training again. I got wind of a 140 mile ride to San Diego in July and I am tempted...